Loving you more isn't the solution to debauchery

A friend once told me,
No matter what choices you make in life
there will be a woman for that you.
Relief surged through my veins
For the immediate, my conscience was on break.
As is typical, ramifications were out of sight,
until I met the pivot point who caused reevaluation.

Her goodness was something I had once tasted,
nay feasted upon.
Looking at her was akin to glimpsing paradise,
an oasis I wandered through once upon.
Her value lay not in her own, but
based the foundation of her existence.
The adventurer was all that I was,

what of two bees, drunken creatures of lavish hedonism fully given over to their deprived ways?

Comfort curls (breathe) calmingly,, capturing carelessly,,,
My bastille is barren: i defend my heart's coffers with quiescence
you make me want to be beautiful, for Me.
You are my friend, rather, The friend.
The familiar weaves bliss into my being.
We tread the path of present accorded
Indulging together and aligning our stars manually...

The two stars, of the east and west, shone on me
for One fleeting moment both lie directly above,
each having laid anchor to my soul.
Either promises the pain of not being the other,
Resulting in ubiquitous regret.

As I bask in the celestial rays, my body is
Consumed
by the specs
turned stains
turned mess
turned worthless
turned complete trash.
Both paths demand cleaning,
the doldrums have set in and
seduce their way out of destruction.
I feel as if the earth beneath me is turning,
separating me from all but the filth.

Will I forever drink from the flowers
that cause me to fall slowly downward,
or finally break free and escape.